NEWSFLASH: ARYEH STEINER HATES ANOTHER ALBUM!

Many of you will find this completely shocking. Please grab hold of something and be prepared for this amazing news. Aryeh Steiner has reviewed another album - and hated it! I have to wonder why this man writes a Jewish music blog at all? For someone who hates 98 percent of what he listens to, I'd think he just doesn't like Jewish music. If that's the case then why bother reviewing it.

For your entertainment purposes I will now publish the template that Mr. Steiner uses to review albums.

I just came from my friends house and borrowed the new (INSERT ALBUM TITLE HERE) this is their/his (INSERT ALBUM NUMBER) attempt at putting out a decent album. (INSERT CD PRODUCER) has really been phoning it in lately. He really sucks.

It won't be any surprise to you that I think (INSERT ALBUM ARTIST/GROUP HERE) have failed miserably once again. The choir sounds like (CHOSE BETWEEN SUCKS, STINKS & BLOWS) and the guitar is the (INSERT REPETITIVE SYNONYM HERE) Avi Singolda. Sadly Avi is off pace with the (INSERT SECOND RATE DRUMMER/AND/OR PIANIST HERE) and the Brass and Horns are (INSERT DISAPPOINTING TERM HERE.)

(INSERT ALBUM NAME HERE) is a pathetic joke of an album that doesn't even come close to sounding like good music. I'm glad I didn't waste my money on this garbage.

The songs are so bad that my CD player actually spit it out. (INSERT OVERUSED COMPOSERS NAME HERE) hasn't composed a good song in 20 years, it's wonder anyone uses him anymore.

This album is perfect for a deaf blind man and people who are number then stones and won't know the difference anyway. Whatever happened to (INSERT NAME OF ALBUM SAMEACH SENT ME FOR FREE), now THAT was good music. (PAUSE FOR DRAMATIC EFFECT AND HOPE MORE PEOPLE WILL SEND ME THEIR CD'S FOR FREE)

Steiner, why don't you change the name of your blog to the "(ALL) JEWISH MUSIC (SUCKS) REVIEW BLOG" you are embarrassing yourself and anyone who was dumb enough to send you music to review in the first place. When are you going to shut down your blog, or at least start writing real reviews. No one in their right mind can actually hate Jewish music as much as you do and still enjoy actually writing reviews.

It's not like people actually read your blog or respect your opinion anyway. So why do you do it? Does it make you feel good about yourself that at the end of the day you trashed another album?

Whats the problem, did Yitzy Schwartz not ask you to be on his CD? What did people do to you to make you so hurt and angry. If you need some help, let me know, I know a few good Frum shrinks. They can help you deal with your issues.